Okay, I may only have a few precious moments to recount most of this trip before Darth Leah gets out of the shower, so I'll be as quick as possible.

First and foremost, and so I don't get killed in my sleep when Leah reads this, we've been having a blast.  Starting Saturday, we left the Cape for the Renaissance at Patriot Place for the night, then went to Boston the next day to see a Matinee production of "Jersey Boys."  Which, if you haven't seen it and plan on seeing another show in the near future, I would strongly urge you to reconsider.  It was unbelievable, and yeah, I got a little teary-eyed during "Sherry," but what can I say, I'm a sucker for the oldies.

From there we drove through Connecticut to the very end, which exists in a town called Stamford.  The next morning, it was up as early as we could handle, through New York and into Pennsylvania to Hershey.  

Hershey was a very fun, very long, hot day.  After a morning of roller-coaster and flume rides, we took the Hershey Chocolate World Ride-Tour to get our free Hershey Kisses at the end.  Although, since the kisses they were giving away this day were the new "Meltaway" style, they were so rich I could barely make it through without desperately wanting a glass of milk.  That is, until we saw the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup cookie that can be seen on our facebook pages.  Since we were able to get this with an ice cold milk, we were able to tear through it, but in terms of chocolate, that would be the last for us in Hershey, PA.

The next day, it was off to Gettysburg, to tour the battlefields and museums in the little town in central Pennsylvania.  We first took a guided bus tour with a guide through the battlefields to get a grasp of exactly what happened there, the timeframes, and the locations we'd want to re-visit when we drove through "guideless."

The rest of the afternoon and next day were spent using every single free ticket that came with our "Package Plan" we bought with the bus pass.  Suffering from exhaustion and probably severe dehydration, I championed through and even made it through a ghost tour at night which truly creeped me out.  If you are a skeptic when it comes to ghosts, try walking around Devil's Den or Little Round Top in Gettysburg at 9:30-10pm with nothing but digital cameras and a pair of flashlights purchased at Wal-Mart for the price of a King Size Twizzlers.  

The day after our two-day excursion through Gettysburg, it was off to Lancaster County (aka Bird-In-Hand, Intercourse, Ronks, Strasburg or whatever else you want to refer to "Amish Country" as).  This was a wild part of the trip for me, as Leah had been here before but I hadn't seen the tools being used in these fields anywhere besides a history book or Disney's "Carousel of Progress."  After a relaxing buggy ride through the fields of Amish Country, and an almost hilariously overpriced railroad ride through the same fields (See Leah's picture of me passed out at one of the short-line railroad's 8-minute, no-reason stops).  That night, we drove east into Philadelphia, prompting me to call my brother as soon as we reached the city limits, when this exchange occurred:  

Me:  "Hey man!  Guess where I am!"

Danny:  "Where?"

Me:  "Iiiin West Philadelphia!!" 

Danny:  "YES!  Are you chilling out, maxin', relaxin', all-cool?"

Yeah, I suppose it was funnier when it was still safely locked in my brain.  But whatever, I thought you should hear it too.  Because "Fresh Prince" references in Philly never get old.  EVER.

Today we toured most of the "Old City" of Philadelphia, walking from our hotel to the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, the Betsy Ross house, and many other historic locations in Philly.  Then, realizing we were both totally exhausted, we headed back to the hotel for a short rest.  

Okay, quickly, I want to explain the difference between Leah and me on vacation:

Me:  Early to bed, early to rise, be first in line everywhere so you can get done what you want or need to, then head back to the hotel for pool/hot tub time, a few drinks, crackers and cheese, and plan out a relaxing nighttime activity.  Wear sneakers everywhere to be as comfortable as possible when walking miles per day.

Leah:  Early to bed, early to rise, be first in line everywhere so you can get done what you want or need to, then do everything else the city has to offer.  If you've paid for a pass, or package deal that includes something you could POSSIBLY do, you're doing it.  Don't leave a city with a stone still unturned.  Also, wear flip-flops at all possible times, even when you're literally tripping every 1/3 of a block because flip-flops are totally impractical when doing a walking tour of a city, or in a Disney World-like (lots of walking) location.  

Other than that, we're practically the same in every way...

So, back at the hotel when I woke up from my short nap, Leah reacted angrily when I asked what she wanted to do, and the trip almost took a very violent turn.  However, tempers quickly calmed when she explained she was tired of planning everything and I explained that we'd already done more in one half-day in Philadelphia than I did with my family in two days here in 2001.  We then went to the dueling Cheesesteak palaces (Geno's and Pat's) where Leah got a cheesesteak from Geno's and I got one from Pat's, and we shared them.  After having equal portions of both, Leah liked her Geno's steak while I was leaning in Pat's direction. 

Well, Leah is out of the shower now and we're off to see a movie ("The Goods") most likely since a "Severe Weather Warning" kind of put off our plans for a Ghost Tour.  Can't wait to see you all when we get back. 

Reporting live frooom West Philadelphia!

I'm Bobby Price.

 Every once in a while, the world of sports can still surprise you.

The goal of every team, every year, is to win a championship.  However, once in a while a playoff series or single game can make a season by its lonesome.  For example...

Steve McNair and Peyton Manning winning co-MVP awards, then having the Patriots, led by Tom Brady whom many people thought deserved the award due to having a great season with every viable receiving option getting injured during the season, storm through them on the way to a Super Bowl victory.

The next season, when the Patriots stormed through the playoffs en route to their second consecutive Super Bowl.  In the first round, they held the Colts #1 offense to an entire three points with a defensive backfield in tatters, then put up 41 on the Steelers' #1 defense.  Both years, the Super Bowl victories were practically gravy after the Patriots were all but counted out.  People couldn't stop raving about McNair, or the magnificent Peyton Manning, or how the "New Steel Curtain" couldn't be scored upon, or how New England's secondary didn't stand a chance against the awesome power of the Colts' high-powered offense.  It made the victories so sweet they probably deserved their own parades.

In 2004, the Red Sox pulled off a part-miraculous, part-true-grit victory after dropping the first three games of a seven game series against their hated rivals.  By the time the Sox were done trouncing the Cardinals in the World Series, Boston fans had been on Cloud 9 for a week.  Whatever beautiful drug winning a championship after 86 years of disappointment feels like, we were used to its effects by the time it actually happened.

Then there was this series.

I had totally and completely prepared myself for an early playoff exit once it was reported that Kevin Garnett got promoted (or demoted) to head cheerleader for the rest of the 2008-2009 campaign.  Even with Pierce healthy (albeit cripplingly exhausted), Ray-Ray shooting as great as ever, and a decent supporting cast, I had no hopes for this team, this year.  After all, even if they got by the first two rounds, was there any chance they'd get by Cleveland?  Yeah, I didn't think so, either.

So when this series turned out to be the greatest first-round series (and right up there with the greatest series of any kind) ever played, it was a surprising treat.  The Bulls had everything they needed to spawn a rivalry out of thin air, and they did not disappoint.  I now despise half of this Bulls team, most of all Joakim Noah.  I know I'm not alone here, and I know it's been said numerous times before in everyday conversation and in writing, but I HATE Joakim Noah.  His completely uninfectious enthusiasm for rebounding, dunking, and fouling people is enough to make my skin crawl right off my body.

By the time Noah made his "I can't beLIEVE you guys called that!" face after he grabbed Rajon Rondo by the face from behind (on which he was incredibly lucky he didn't get a flagrant foul), I was wishing awful things on him I don't even have the heart to write.

Which brings me, briefly, to officiating.  Now, normally I don't complain much about officiating unless it is so apparently bad that it affects the outcome of a game.  But by the end of last night's game, Tommy Heinsohn's take on the officials was even starting to make sense.

It started when Paul Pierce was called for a foul when Kirk Heinrich dribbled the ball off of his foot, tripped over his own ankle and fell out of bounds.  Pierce wasn't within a foot of him when it happened, but apparently he made Heinrich suck at dribbling.  Whatever, bad calls happen.

But, when Kendrick Perkins got T'd up when Brad Miller came down hard on him, and Kendrick Perkins seemingly did nothing but walk away, clutching his bad shoulder, I fully expected to see Heinsohn come charging in from the scorer's table like George Brett in the Pine Tar Game.  It was mind-boggling.

The thing most perplexing about this series was the lack of shock and awe surrounding the performance of Rajon Rondo.  With everyone so enamored with Derrick Rose and his out-of-this-world athletic ability, Rondo's historically incredible series fell by the wayside.  Let's take a quick look at the point guard comparison:

Rajon Rondo:  19.4 points, 9.3 rebounds, 11.6 assists, 2.7 steals, 2.1 turnovers

Derrick Rose:  19.7 points, 6.3 rebounds, 6.4 assists, 0.6 steals, 5 turnovers

That's not only in Rondo's favor, it's not even close.  causing two more turnovers per game and giving away three less is nothing to breeze past.  That's not even mentioning the significant differences in rebounding and creating shots for his teammates.  An enormous part of this Celtics series win was Rondo dominating the point guard matchup.  Talk about Rose's blocked shot on Rondo in game 6 all you want, I can copy/paste this line to anyone and everyone if I have to.

While we're making disparaging remarks about Bulls players, I'd like to talk about Joakim Noah again, if you don't mind.

While his final line from the series (10 points, 13 boards, 2 blocks) is very similar to our lovable big fella (Kendrick Perkins:  13.3 points, 11.6 rebounds, 3 blocks), he entrenched himself as perhaps the biggest playoff whiner (not a typo) of all time.  I'd also like to point out that had Kevin Garnett been playing, Noah's rebounds may have been cut in half.  Sorry, I've disliked him since he was at Florida.  I really don't like him, but I'm done now.  I promise.

So, with the bigs matching up very close, and the shooting guards eerily similar:

Ben Gordon:  24.3, 2.9, 3

Ray Allen:  23.4, 3.1, 2.1

What was the difference maker?  Clearly nothing definitive, as the 7 game series had exactly 7 overtime periods, including two double-OT's and one triple-OT, but it was enough to finally claim victory.  The answer is a two-part one.

If you think of it as a math equation, shooting guards Allen and Gordon cancel each other out, with Noah and Perk doing the same, throw in Brad MIller and Big Baby Davis beating each other up and ending up with similar statistics as well (not great, and WAY too many fouls), x = Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo.  Tyrus Thomas, although throwing his significant size around blocking shots and grabbing rebounds, was no match for the all-around game of Pierce, and Rondo took it to Rose every which way possible.  And dear god, was it fun to watch.

Now, the Celts turn their attention to Orlando, with Darth Howard looming on every potential drive to the basket in the very near future.  After a few games of watching Howard block shots twelve rows into the stands, I can't wait to see whether he passes Joakim Noah on my list of most-hated playoff opponents.  One can only hope this series is as memorable as the last.

Though, how could it possibly?

 I'd like to thank the Boston Red Sox, and their fan base, for waking me from my sports coma.

In case some of you haven't noticed, and for those of you who have (and by those of you I mean Craig, the most loyal fan of non-updated Sportsomedy posts a guy could ask for), I've been beyond lackadaisical in my blogging.  To be honest, I've been immersed in Bruins playoffs, and Celtics playoffs when the Bruins are in between periods or off that night.  And, when I'm not busy watching sports that are impossibly hard for me to write about, I've been in a sports-related coma since an officiating crew refused to call Tom Coughlin for running onto the field during the most important game in the history of the NFL.  

Nothing for that like Red Sox-Yankees.

Today I went to the Sox-Yanks game at Fenway with my girlfriend, her brother and my buddy Ben, and we lucked out with an instant classic.  In what may go down as one of the great slugfests in the history of this rivalry, two of the better pitchers on each staff got belted around like they had never thrown a baseball before.  The game then became a test of endurance for batters and bullpen alike, with each team in and out of the lead like Lohan Rehab visits.

With the Red Sox down 6-0, I started to think about what score would be out-of-reach enough to convince my cohorts to leave early to get a head start toward the T.  Then all hell broke loose as in the bottom of the 5th, Jason Varitek cut the lead to within one with his third career grand slam, and Jason Bay erased their lead and padded their own with a two run double in the 6th.

This is about the point where my cell phone vibrating started to get drowned out by the rabid Sox fans making ancient Fenway Park shake with sheer energy.

Now I'm not talking about the few fans who stand up during every full count from the sixth inning on and yell at the fans who are in their seats, screaming about how "real fans" stand up at important times in the game.  It's almost as if they don't know I paid 65 hard-earned dollars to sit in this seat in right field built for a Polynesian midget and facing away from home plate at a 110 degree angle directly into the Yankee bullpen.  

I'm talking about the palpable electricity coming from every fan in the architecturally ridiculous stadium.  That intense feeling that you're watching something that's incredibly special, and you're a part of it.  And by the Time Mike Lowell's 4th, 5th and 6th RBIs bounced off the Green Monster, nearly killing Johnny Damon in the process, you're uncontrollably smiling from ear to ear.  And that's coming from someone who truly believes Boston would be best suited with a brand-new stadium in Boston and turning Fenway into a foul-smelling museum of some sort.

It takes a unique kind of team and fan base to send chills up people's spines when Jonathan Papelbon lightly jogs out of the bullpen in the 9th inning to "Shipping Up To Boston" trying to protect a five-run lead in a basically meaningless April baseball game.  I'm not even sure it's possible anywhere else.

So thank you, Red Sox, for my sports awakening.  I couldn't have done it without you.

National League East Preview (Last Year's Record) Projected 2009 Record

1.  New York Mets (89-73) 93-69

Added:  Francisco Rodriguez, J.J. Putz

Worry not, Mets fans.  After two disastrous attempts at making the playoffs, the Mets will succeed this season in taking their division and punching their first ticket to the playoffs since 2006.  If these Mets manage to stay healthy, Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carloses Beltran and Delgado are as solid a core as a lineup could ask for, and should be enough to make up for what they lack in their starting rotation.

As for that starting rotation, so close, yet so far away from being truly great, a few things need to happen:

Johan Santana must stay healthy all year.  Although this hasn't been an issue for the perennial Cy Young contender, the Mets simply can't survive any extended period without him.

John Maine must regain his form.  Currently in the process of recovering form shoulder surgery, Maine has struggled mightily in his Spring starts.  Before shoulder problems slowed him last season, Maine was on his way to becoming a reliable #2 for New York City's second-favorite baseball team.  However, after his new, awkward delivery had his coaches worrying and his opponents licking their chops, John Maine threw what is said to have been an impressive and encouraging bullpen session Tuesday, March 24th.  Maine could be an enormous X-factor in 2009, as he has the stuff to be the other stud in their rotation.  If he can get back on track, making all of his starts and getting his ERA back under 4, his offense and newly tremendous bullpen should aid him in getting back to, or over, the 15-win mark.

Mets Mission:  Find another starter!  Having discussed John Maine already, the Mets are still in need of another arm besides Santana, Maine, Oliver Perez and up-and-coming Mike Pelfrey.  Livan Hernandez seems to be solidifying that role this Spring, but is that what this team, with nearly a 200 million dollar price tag, really wants to settle for?  Isn't that Pedro Martinez guy looking for a job right now?  I wonder what kind of cock-fighting gambling money he's looking for to pitch this season...

2.  Philadelphia (92-70) 90-72

Added:  Raul Ibanez

The addition of Ibanez to what was already the National League's best lineup just makes the Phillies' offense downright scary.  However, their starting rotation is painfully average.  And, if Cole Hamels's elbow problem becomes any more than a mild Spring irritation, it could end up being just painful.  Since Joe Blanton went from a pitcher's dreamland in Oakland to a Little League World Series park in Philly, he may be the first pitcher to suffer by making the move to the National League in the last 20 years.  Having any talent would certainly help him, but unfortunately he'll just have to settle on hoping for great defense and high winds coming in from the outfield.

It's stating the obvious that Philadelphia will score runs in bunches this year.  They've accomplished this for about three years straight.  Infield offense doesn't get any better than Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins.  However, what they lack in pitching may be their undoing in terms of winning the division and/or making any kind of run in the playoffs.  If and when Cole Hamels is given a clean bill of health, there may be high winds felt in the rest of Pennsylvania from the simultaneous exhale of every Phillies fan holding their breath right now.

3.  Atlanta Braves (72-90) 85-77

Added:  Garrett Anderson, Casey Kotchman ('08 trade), Derek Lowe, Mike Gonzalez, Javier Vazquez

Lost:  Mark Teixeira ('08 trade)

The Braves made a few great moves during the offseason, most notably inking ex-Dodgers ace Derek Lowe and strikeout mogul Javy Vazquez.  Vazquez, whose fantastic strikeout to walk ratio (3.25:1) translated to neither a decent ERA (4.67) nor a winning record (12-16), but his superb mix of pitches should go great with his new NL threads.  If he can simply repeat his performance from last year in his new home, he should be in the 15-win range with his ERA a full run lower.  This could be one of the great AL-to-NL switches in the past few seasons.  However, even with the addition of two semi-studs to the rotation and new closer Mike Gonzalez to shore up the bullpen, it doesn't seem to be enough to compete in the vicious NL East.

4.  Florida Marlins (84-77) 75-87

The curse of having the consensus #1 fantasy pick.  With Hanley Ramirez going first overall in nearly every fantasy draft I've either participated in or heard about this year, the Marlins seem to have only that going for them.  Matt Lindstrom just about self-terminated in the World Baseball Classic, having needed NASA to calculate his ERA from the tournament.  If the closer-in-training feels any effects of a WBC-hangover, his season is in a heap of trouble.  

The Marlins will have a few bright spots in Ramirez, Cameron Maybin and Ricky Nolasco which will make watching them slightly enjoyable, but the biggest fight they will have this year is trying to stay out of last place with the Nationals.

5.  Washington Nationals (59-102) 63-99

Added:  Adam Dunn, Daniel Cabrera

The Washington Nationals added two of the more hilariously inconsistent players in the game in Daniel Cabrera and Adam Dunn this offseason, and will rely on them to attempt to get out of the basement of the NL East.  More importantly from the franchise's point of view is Lastings Milledge and Ryan Zimmerman and their development as they reach their prime.  With Milledge's first full season under his belt and Zimmerman coming up on his fourth full season at the ripe old age of 25, the duo will be expected to finally begin to tap the potential we've all heard so much about.

But, with a starting rotation that now includes a guy who once tossed more base-on-balls than strikeouts in 27 starts (89 to 76 in 2004) in Cabrera, the Nationals are looking at another last place finish in 2009.

American League West (Last Year's Record) Projected 2009 Record

1.  Los Angeles Angels (100-62) 98-64

Added:  Bobby Abreu, Brian Fuentes

Lost:  Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez, Garrett Anderson, Jon Garland

The buzz around town is the Angels' rotation is the best in the game.  And no one seems to believe this more than the Angels themselves. However, Kelvim Escobar's confident (and humorously short-sighted) enthusiasm is fun to read, but the Angels will need a more realistic and hard-fought effort from their starters this season.  With the loss of 14 game winner Jon Garland, the staff will have some slack (and almost 200 innings) to pick up.  However, with perennial Cy Young contender John Lackey anchoring the staff, Ervin Santana seemingly developing into the co-ace the Angels always hoped he would (barring this current elbow problem), and a hopefully healthy return of Kelvim Escobar, they should be fairly capable of doing so when (and a big IF) all their pitchers are healthy.

What is far more interesting to me with this team is their offense.  With the addition of Bobby Abreu, the Angels finally have some legitimate protection for Vladimir Guerrero in this previously pitiful lineup.  Granted, this has yet to happen, but can you imagine what this lineup would look like if they could stay healthy for an entire year, or even with just a couple of limited trips to the DL?  Speed demon Chone Figgins leading off, Howie Kendrick batting second, and some sort of combination of Bobby Abreu, Vladimir Guerrero and Tori Hunter in the 3-4-5 spots?  Throw in a power-hitting (albeit .250ish hitting) catcher in Mike Napoli and a speedy shortsop in Eric Aybar or Maicer Izturis (who knows which one, and more importantly who cares?) and you've got yourself one of the better lineups in the entire game.  The problem, of course, is that darned health issue.  Howie Kendrick has averaged a half-season in each of his three major league seasons, Chone Figgins has missed almost 50 games in each of the last two seasons, and for Bobby Abreu and Vladimir Guerrero, 35 and 34, respectively, good health is no guarantee either.  

All these health concerns aside, the Angels are a deep, dangerous team (as usual), and have enough pitching talent and offensive firepower to run away with this division again.  Mike Scioscia will put together another masterful run as the Angels win their third straight division title.

2.  Texas (79-83) 81-81

Texas was suspiciously motionless during the off-season, keeping almost their entire roster intact from last season.  Unfortunately for them, that's not a good thing.  That is unless they were aiming to pay homage to the early 2000's versions of their teams where offensive potency was valued at the cost of an ugly rotation.  On paper, the lineup is fantastic.  Ian Kinsler (sure-fire MVP last season until injuries prematurely ended his campaign), rising stars David Murphy, Nelson Cruz and Chris Davis, Michael Young, and Josh "Hopefully not a Flash in the Pan" Hamilton could strike fear into the hearts of most starters in this league.  However, the pitching staff is something less awe-inspiring.

Start at the top, with staff ace Kevin Millwood.  Last season in just under 169 innings, Millwood allowed almost 4 runs, and lasted less than 6 innings per turn.  Posting a 5.07 ERA and a WHIP (Walks and Hits per Inning Pitched) of 1.59, he failed to reach .500 over the course of the season.  Not exactly the type of performance a team would like to see from its "ace."  Throw in decidedly average "#2 starter but should probably be a #5 or long reliever" Vicente Padilla and a few other inexperienced young guys and a dash of another team's outcast, and we have the 2009 Texas Ranger pitching rotation!  In what might be the worst division in baseball, a great offense and horrendous pitching staff just may lead to a perfectly balanced .500 record as well.

3.  Oakland Athletics (75-86) 72-90

Added:  Jason Giambi, Matt Holliday, Orlando Cabrera, Nomar Garciaparra

Lost:  Huston Street, Rich Harden, Carlos Gonzalez

The A's had such a wild offseason, I have no idea if they're assembling a one-year, all-in run at the world series, building for the future, or attempting some sort of "Major League 2" plot to build hatred amongst the fans so they don't care when the team is sold and moved to Portland, Oregon for no reason.

Recent additions Matt Holliday and Jason Giambi will certainly add some firepower to the lineup, but adding two players with power to a lineup with absolutely no power equals... well I'm not exactly sure but it sure as hell isn't enough to compete against the likes of the Angels or even the Rangers.  

Note to Oakland Management:  Next time you come up with a plan to "Go for it all" including trading away your best young offensive talent (Carlos Gonzalez), make sure you have a pitching staff (the projected 5 of which had a combined 30 wins last season) that includes something more than a reformed 8th inning guy, another guy who was lousy in the NATIONAL league, and two nobodies named Dana and Dallas.  Oh, and try not to lose your closer in the process and hand the job to a completely unproven rookie, as well.

4.  Seattle Mariners (61-101) 59-103

Added:  Aaron Heilman, Ken Griffey, Jr.

Lost:  J.J. Putz

Ken Griffey Jr.'s return to where his career got its start could be ruined by a lack of pitching, hitting, bullpen help and a variety of other major shortcomings that are all but certain for this Mariners team this season.  After trading its best arm in closer J.J. Putz, the Mariners have been auditioning a few candidates for the open closer's job including Miguel Batista, Roy Corcoran and Mark Lowe with hilariously disasterous results.  By the time one of these guys separate themeselves from the pack in early June, it may be a moot point as Chad Cordero could be healthy enough to take the job, and the Mariners will probably be 105 games behind the Angels at that point anyway.

With neither free agent help nor the presence of minor league-level talent, Seattle coudl be in for one of the longest regular seasons in baseball history.  If you happen to be a Mariner fan reading this article and are looking for a silver lining, look no further than young fireballer Brandon Morrow, who could be one of the better stories in the majors this season.  Unfortunately, he could be one of the better pitchers in the American League this season and not reach the 12 win plateau due to a lack of run support and bullpen help.  But hey, chin up... Ken Griffey Junior's back in town!

 American League Central (Last Year's Record) Projected Record for 2009

1.  Cleveland Indians (81-81) 90-72

Added:  Kerry Wood, Carl Pavano

Addition by Subtraction:  Joe Borowski

How this team managed to achieve a .500 record last season despite starting the season with a closer named Joe Borowski who has thrown so many games in the past few seasons he should have a "Shoeless" nickname somewhere, in addition to losing their co-ace Fausto Carmona, and their two best power hitters in Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner, all to injuries, is beyond my comprehension.  

However, Cleveland addressed their most serious need this offseason by adding newly-turned closer Kerry Wood to their roster.  Indians fans can now lower the terror warning level in the ninth inning from "Imminent Threat" to "Hey, we just might win this!"  Losing C.C. Sabathia doesn't help anything, but they still have co-aces Cliff Lee (40 wins in his last two healthy seasons) and Fausto Carmona (Healthy again and looking great in Spring training), and have added Carl Pavano to the mix as well.  Granted, adding Carl Pavno to anything doesn't necessarily mean anything good, but hey, sometimes a change of scenery (e.g. getting out of New York to pitch in a much lower-pressure stadium in Cleveland) can do a body a world of good.

Also, the Indians will also get back surgically-repaired sluggers Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner this year.  Rejoining five-tool wonderboy Grady Sizemore and Jhonny "Hilariously too fat to play shortstop" Peralta immediately transforms the top half of the Indians' lineup into something dangerous instead of something that resembles Grady Sizemore and some guy with an awful typo on his birth certificate.  Barring any further health issues, and if Masahide Kobayashi and Kerry Wood can continue on their path to being a very-above-average 8th/9th inning combination, Cleveland just may take this division back again.  Since I can't think of any more jokes to make at Jhonny Peralta's expense, let's move on...

2.  Chicago White Sox (89-74) 88-74

Added:  Bartolo Colon

Lost:  Javier Vazquez, Joe Crede

I honestly don't know what the Chicago White Sox announcers will do this season without Joe Crede, whom they insist is the greatest third baseman in the game, and possibly in the history of Major League Baseball.  Josh Fields at third, and Bartolo Colon in place of Javy Vazquez are sub-par replacements, but I suppose you can't fault them for trying.

The fact is, the White Sox still have a solid pitching staff including the likes of Mark Buehrle, John Danks and Gavin Floyd, and a reliable closer in Bobby Jenks.  Additionally, they still have power-hitters galore in the middle of their lineup with Jim Thome, Jermaine Dye, Paul Konerko and Carlos Quentin, and the emergence of Alexei Ramirez at second (or possibly short, wherever they choose to put him this season) only makes them more dangerous.  However, I'm afraid Chicago hasn't done quite enough this offseason to break the 90-win mark, which they will certainly need to do for a shot at the wild card (although this division could probably be won by an 85-win team).

Assuming great health, yeah this team could run away with this division.  However, you simply can't assume that with a 35-year-old Jermaine Dye, a 38 1/2-year old Jim Thome, and a rapidly declining 33-year-old Paul Konerko swinging those darned heavy bats over the course of a six month season.  Man, what some of these guys wouldn't do for a course of the Sosa-McGwire-Bonds-Sheffield-Giambi Juice or some vine-ripened HGH right about now.

3.  Kansas City (75-87) 77-85

Added:  Kyle Farnsworth, Mike Jacobs, Coco Crisp

Kansas City is very quietly improving in their own little world down there in the middle of the country.  With Billy Butler ready to start contributing at the Major League level, Mike Aviles starting off the season at short instead of Tony Pena (who hit only about 250 points lower than Aviles), Alex Gordon continuing to develop, and the addition of Coco Crisp (low-pressure rebound season, anyone?), the offense finally seems to resemble something almost kind of like a formidable lineup.  If Coco Crisp can return to his .300, 15 home run, 40 SB ways of his two years before three injury-riddled seasons with the Red Sox, he may just be the catalyst at the leadoff spot the Royals have sorely lacked since Johnny Damon left from there almost a decade ago.

Assuming their pitching staff holds together health-wise, young talent (Zack Grienke and Luke Hochevar), cagey veteran Gil Meche and top-3 AL closer Joakim Soria could be just enough to get the Royals out of the basement of the Central once and for... well... a while.

4. Detroit Tigers (74-88) 76-86

Added:  Brandon Lyon, Edwin Jackson, Gerald Laird

Lost:  Justin Verlander's Mojo

What is there to say about the Detroit Tigers?  It seems as though every time they do something right, something else goes horribly wrong.  Collecting young talent (or what most people had assumed was talent) turned into a rotation now comprised of Justin Verlander's corpse (By the way, I see a huge bounce back year for this guy, but MAN was he gawd-awful last season), Jeremy "Remember when everyone said I was one of the best young pitchers in the game and now I can't get my ERA lower than my jersey number?" Bonderman, Nate "Betcha I can allow more home runs than BALCO this season!" Robertson, and the previously-shed skin of the pitcher formerly known as Dontrelle Willis.  What in the world happened to these guys?  Detroit's giant stadium and endless foul territory was supposed to be a pitcher's haven, but now seems to be the place hurlers go to die.

If at least two of these guys can't make big turnarounds this season, it's going to be a very, very long summer for Tigers fans everywhere.

5.  Minnesota Twins (88-75) 72-90

Added:  Joe Crede

In previous seasons, it always seemed as though no matter who Minnesota lost to free agency or trades, they had a young gun waiting in the wings to take his place, fill the gap and keep the team on pace for playoff contention.  However, with losses over the past few seasons of future hall of famer Johan Santana and team leader Torii Hunter, in addition to incessantly waiting for the arrival of lefty phenom fireballer Francisco Liriano, I just can't see it happening again this season.  A rotation comprised of guys who should be #2-#3's on other teams such as Kevin Slowey, Glen Perkins and Scott Baker doesn't exactly inspire great confidence, especially if Liriano isn't ever allowed to smell the air inside a major league stadium.  

Add that to a lineup comprised of former power prospect Delmon Young, who hit all of 10 home runs last year, Carlos Gomez, who started out swiping bases at a Hendersonian pace then fell off the planet at the halfway point, and we have a recipe for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays of about 4 or 5 years ago.  Once these guys develop, they may be great, unfortunately Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and "Greatest Third Baseman to ever Play at any Level in the History of Baseball, Cricket or Ladies Field Hockey" Joe Crede will have moved on by then.  If the Twins can recover from the lack of firepower on the tops and bottoms of the 2009 innings, you can give "Coach of the Year" to Ron Gardenhire for the next 27 years in a row as far as I'm concerned.  

 AL East (Last Season's Record) Projected Record for 2009

1.  Tampa Bay Rays (95-67) 93-69

Lost:  Cliff Floyd, Rocco Baldelli

Added:  Jason Isringhausen

The Rays seem as though they lack some offensive depth and a sure-thing bullpen, but Scott Kazmir, James Shields, Matt Garza are one of the top three "Top 3's" in baseball, and the addition of a full-time David Price is simply terrifying.  The last thing I remember from last season is seeing Price come out of the bullpen in the playoff series against the Sox and thinking to myself "My god, I can't believe I forgot they had this guy in the 'pen!  Well, there's always next year..."  Now, adding that ferociously talented arm to the rotation for a full season seems to make them the team to beat in the powerful East.

There's a fairly good chance the big 3 in the east will beat each other into a bloody pulp for 57 games, resulting in neither the Yankees, Red Sox nor the Rays reaching 90 wins, but something tells me they'll feast on the rest of the league enough to compensate.  With the returning core of Evan Longoria, B.J. Upton, Carl Crawford and Carlos Pena, the Rays may just have the upper hand in the best division in baseball.

2.  Boston Red Sox (95-67) 92-70

Added:  Brad Penny, Rocco Baldelli, John Smoltz, Josh Bard, Takashi Saito

Lost:  Coco Crisp

The Red Sox had by far the best offseason no one seemed to hear about.  Adding depth at crucial positions (outfield to spell J.D. "Made from Grandma's China" Drew, bullpen and starting rotation made them a superior team to last year's version on paper.  In case of a temporary loss of Josh Beckett (due to blisters), Tim Wakefield (due to, well age), or John Smoltz (already missing the first half of the season following surgery), the Sox have compensated by adding Brad Penny, and having young and hungry minor leaguers Michael Bowden and Clay Buchholz just waiting for another crack at the bigs.

Add a deep, talented rotation to a seemingly perfect combination of power (David Ortiz, J.D. Drew, Kevin Youkilis, Jason Bay), speed (Jacoby Ellsbury, Julio Lugo) average (Dustin Pedroia, Mike Lowell), and a lineup that will likely alternate lefty-right every batter, and you've got a deep, dangerous team built for the long haul and a serious playoff run.  

3.  New York Yankees (89-73) 88-74

Lost:  Jason Giambi, Bobby Abreu

Added:  C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Mark Teixeira

Making more noise than any other team this offseason, the Yankees came up with their own bailout package, doling out hundreds of millions of dollars to add three players to a team which missed the playoffs entirely last season.  However, I'm not sure the Yanks filled any of the needs that caused them to miss the big dance last year.

In letting Abreu and Giambi go, they traded Giambi's 30 home runs and 96 RBIs for Teixeira's 33 home runs and 121 RBIs.  Then, they lost Abreu's 100, 20, 100 for some combination of Melky Cabrera's 42, 8, 37 or Brett Gardner's completely unknown abilities.  Although they will have Xavier Nady patrolling right this season, who had a fantastic season between Pittsburgh and New York in '08 at 76, 25, 47, it is a mystery what he'll manage to come up with in the AL East, against the likes of Roy Halladay, Jon Lester, Shaun Marcum and the rest of the aforementioned co-aces of the AL East.  It also should be mentioned that Nady, who turned 30 last year, has never hit above .300 except for '08, when he hit only .268 once he went to the Yankees.  Is their offense improved by adding Mark Teixeira to the offense?  Of course.  Is it going to make that much of a difference after losing Abreu, and having the decreasingly effective and increasingly injury-prone Hideki Matsui at DH?  That remains to be seen, but somehow I doubt it.

But wait, we're not finished yet.  The Yankees also shelled out another couple of billion dollars for defensive end C.C. Sabathia, who has a combined April/postseason ERA that one would probably need NASA to calculate, and A.J. Burnett, whose maddeningly inconsistent career doesn't exactly strike fear into the hearts of the opposition, especially since the injury-prone fireballer just turned 32.  Rounding out the rotation are Chien Ming-Wang ('08 ERA 4.07 and missing half the season due to injury), Andy Pettitte (who turns 37 in June and hasn't posted an ERA in the American League under 4 since 2002), and Joba Chamberlain (nothing to say here, he's great).

As if that weren't enough, team captain and anchor Derek Jeter turns 35 this season.  And, do I have to remind everyone of the horrendous statistics of players following a steroids scandal, not to mention Rodriguez's pre-season hip injury?  This team will win a lot of games because of its sheer star power, but compared to the sturdy foundations emerging in Tampa and Boston, this team is a brewing disaster.  I absolutely can't wait to watch it unfold.

4.  Toronto Blue Jays (86-76) 81-81

Lost:  A.J. Burnett

Added:  Kevin Millar

Take a mediocre season, subtract an 18 game winner, and what do you have?  An annoying .500 team that will beat the Yankees, Rays and Red Sox into submission on the lego-land astro-turf at the Rogers Centre, then lie down like dogs for the rest of the league or when visiting these same teams.  Write it down right now.  The Jays will sweep each of the top three teams in the AL East at home at least once each this season, and follow up these amazing performances with endless losing streaks that will undoubtedly cause Blue Jay fans to daydream about jumping from the CN Tower.

5.  Baltimore Orioles (68-93) 63-99

Added:  Ty Wigginton, Rich Hill, Felix Pie

Lost:  Kevin Millar

In his attempt to get back with on the Red Sox, Kevin Millar overshot his landing by a few hundred miles and ended up in Toronto.  In doing so, he sucked out what energy this team had left them with what will be a sickening combination of inexperienced young talent and a pinch of true talent.  Brian Roberts, Nick Markakis and Aubrey Huff are fantasy studs, but with a supporting cast of "Melvin Mora and the Kids That Are Young Enough to be My Kids" and a starting rotation and bullpen barely capable of pitching themselves out of a bases-loaded jam in the ninth inning of the Little League World Series, it's a lost cause for the O's this year.  The upside?  Watching Nick Markakis smack home runs, and Adam Jones develop into a star.  If you're a fan of the black and orange, you'd better get used to the idea of taking enjoyment in these small things, because watching the Yanks, Sox and Rays beat these pitchers into embarrassment 19 times per season will drive you banana-sandwich otherwise.

Coming Tomorrow:  AL Central Preview

     It's a Red Sox fan's dream:  Giambi, Sheffield, Clemens, Pettitte, and now Alex Rodriguez.  The Yankees are trading in the "House that Ruth Built" for the "House that Roids Built" this year.  We get the rare opportunity to prove to Rodriguez, contrary to what he was told by Derek Jeter, that we indeed are booing the name on the back of the jersey in addition to the name on the front.  We do in fact dislike him more than the other guys for a number of reasons.  Now, the ultimate in ammunition:  A positive steroids test and subsequent admission?  It couldn't get any better than this...

     So why isn't this any fun for me?

     Don't get me wrong.  I'll be joining in every jeer the Fenway Faithful can come up with when I go to the first Saturday Sox-Yankee game this season.  I may even try to come up with a few myself if the mood strikes.  However, there is a piece of me that is truly devastated by this whole thing.

     Only last month, "Alex the Great" was charged with the sacred duty of washing away the stains of the steroids era.  When Barry Bonds juiced his way past Hank Aaron for first place on the all-time home run list, fans of the game were looking to A-Rod to make it to 800, effectively erasing Barry Bonds from the history books, even before #756 landed in the stands.  Unfortunately for us, that glimmer of hope is now history itself.  With the events of the past week, there is now a disappointingly large chance that one of the most cherished records in America's pastime will forever be tarnished by the steroids era.  Think it doesn't matter because you would never root for a Yankee to break a record like that?  Think again.  Let's say this year, Joe Dimaggio's 56-game hit streak (what I consider to be the greatest MLB record) is in jeopardy, with Dustin Pedroia sitting pretty at 56 games.  Beautiful imagery, right?  What if that person is known doper Gary Sheffield?  Sure, he's not a Yankee anymore, but it doesn't sit right, does it?

     As a Red Sox fan, shouldn't we be rooting for such a great record to be in the hands of a Tiger (or whichever team decides to take on his rapidly declining body this season) as opposed to a Yankee?  The Boston fan in me couldn't care less about the validity of the record.  But, the baseball fan in me would be disgusted.

     What happens if, and when, Alex Rodriguez blows by Barry Bonds and puts the home run record out of reach?  Sure, he has a great story.  He was a dumb kid, everyone was doing it, and it was only from 2001-2003.  And, sure, he's stated he's proven he doesn't need them with his performance since the positive test, but how do we know?  How are we supposed to believe he doesn't have a truckload of HGH pulling up to the back door of his mansion on the first of every month?

     He may not be as dumb as Rodney Harrison and buy the stuff with his own credit card, but has anone gone through Madonna's credit card receipts looking for BALCO slips or extra hormones here and there?  Everyone has their excuses or explanations.  Jason Giambi was sorry (for what exactly, we'll never know.  Even Giambi himself may never know), Rodney Harrison was trying to recover from injuries, and so was Andy Pettitte.  Mark McGwire wasn't there to talk about the past, and Roger Clemens misremembered it.  Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English, and Rafael Palmeiro was just an idiot.  No matter who it is, what their reasons were, or whether or not they can prove they're clean now, it always leaves you with an awful taste in your mouth.  The bitter, bile-summoning taste of being cheated.  And we've all been cheated.

Welcome to Super Bowl XLIII (43 for those not of Roman descent), temporary home of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals, who are fighting for the 2008-2009 crown. One point before we get started: Jennifer Hudson can sing the hell out of the National Anthem.  I still don't think anyone will beat Whitney Huston's version of it, but wow did she take a good run at it.

Game time!  Arizona wins the coin flip... and defers!  What!?  Perfect weather, little to no wind and a shaky (albeit on a very hot streak of late) defense, and you're going to give the ball away to start them game off?  What happened to leading with strength, putting your best foot forward, etc.?  Arizona got to the Super Bowl on the strength of an increasingly clutch Kurt Warner and its future Hall of Fame wideout Larry Fitzgerald.  If Arizona doesn't pull off this game, I'm placing part of the blame on this inexplicable decision.  If someone could email or comment on this with some sort of reasonable explanation, it would be very much appreciated.

At the 9:45 mark in the first quarter, Pittsburgh methodically marched down the field for three points.  Wasting half the quarter and getting points, the Steelers made the Cards regret that decision pretty quickly.  Seriously, who does that?!  Doesn't a team realize they've gotten to the biggest game in the world despite its defense, rather than because of this?!  I can't stop screaming!

7:00:  Ben Roethlisberger makes a huge Eli-esque escape from a near-sack, compleeing a pass downfield for a substantial gain.  Horrible, awful memories of last year's Super Bowl are now officially creeping up.  I bet there was no holding on that play either...

7:09:  Will Ferrell is apparently going to appear in a movie version of "Land of the Lost."  Does anyone actually know for a fact where he is heading with his career?  First he's a comic genius, reaches the pinnacle of his career with Anchorman, then progressively gets worse hitting the "Contemplating Suicide, or possibly retirement" stage with "Semi-Pro."  Then there was the newer, better "Stepbrothers."  Now he's Brendan Frasier?  This guy has moved now moved forward, backward, up, down and sideways with his career choices, what could possibly be left?  If I see a Michael Bay action film with his name on it anytime soon, I'm fleeing the country.  I truly believe it's the only way I'll be safe.  Think it doesn't make sense?  Try truly thinking about Will Ferrell's career so far, and you'll see where I'm coming from.

7:10: Danica Patrick in her GODADDY commercial this year gets into a shower for no reason.  She really doesn't care about presenting herself as an athlete first, does she?  God bless that woman.

7:11:  Gary Russell rushes in a one-yard touchdown for the Steelers.  10-3 Pittsburgh.  I thought I'd write that he scored for the Steelers because I've watched every game available to me this season, played in five fantasy football leagues and still never heard of this guy.  What were the odds in Vegas for Russell as the Super Bowl MVP?  1,200:1?  1,000,000:1?  Remind me to put some money on the next back-up fullback for the favored team in Super Bowl XLIV, would you?

7:31:  Steve Breaston returns a punt deep into Steelers territory; great return.  Did someone mention Arizona's special teams advantage in their predictions?  I seem to remember someone mentioning that.  Breaston is starting to look like an early MVP favorite if 'Zona pulls this off.

7:42:  A Bud Light commercial where the guy is describing drinkability with a real-life telistrator.  Given John Madden's recent hilariously wrong usage of this device, wouldn't this be an excellent weapon to equipt this man with?  I would never need any more entertainment.  Ever.

7:44:  Karlos Dansby intercepts Roethlisberger.  I think you can take him out of the MVP race.  He's been hanging tough in the pocket, but so far to a fault.  He's either had to rush throws or take horrible sacks with horribly equal yardage losses.  

7:51:  Larry Fitzgerald finally catches a pass 29 minutes into the game.  Looking at Anquan Boldin's numbers so far, I'm reminded of that certain someone's prediction for this game.  Something about throwing to the guy not in the triple-coverage scheme?  

7:52:  With 23 seconds left, Pitt's vaunted defense is running scared, letting Arizona march across midfield, into field goal territory, then to chip-shot territory, then to 1st and goal on the two.  A touchdown here could be fairly devastating for the Steelers.  The Cardinals would steal every ounce of momentum in that stadium with the ball coming immediately back to... Oh... Oh no! ...Oh my God!

With just seconds left in the half, Certain Someone's choice for MVP, Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison intercepts Kurt Warner and stumbles, tumbles, hops, and skips 100 yards and gets tackled into the end zone.  Well that just changes everything.  With the momentum now strongly with Pittsburgh, Arizona now has to game plan to get back into the game entirely through the air instead of trying to play the ball control, field position game having two all-star wide receivers makes so blissfully easy.  

8:30:  The commercials have not been all that great so far, which is a minor disappointment.  Just a few good ones, but there is still time to improve on that.

8:47:  Pittsburgh receives a ridiculous gift of a "roughing the passer" from the refs after nearly watching their quarterback go down for a loss of 15 yards.  This is the problem refs have with Ben Roethlisberger and his self-destructive tendency to hang in the pocket until he is taking on pass rushers head-on:  No one knows anymore whether to throw him to the ground and risk a 15-yard unnecessary roughness penalty, hold him in a bear hug, and hope his forward progress is ruled stopped before he can shovel pass to his running back for a 40-yard gain, or try to actually bring the guy down, and get called for a 15-yard "roughing the passer" when there's no way to tell if the guy has thrown a pass, because people have been tackling him for 3 to 5 seconds now.  Christmas came early (or late) to the Steelers in this game.  

8:52:  A screen pass to Santonio Holmes.  These quick passes to Holmes are working out very well for Pitt.  They probably shouldn't stop throwing in that man's direction tonight.

8:57:  Unnecessary Roughness penalty on Adrian Wilson because he tumbled into the holder on a field goal try.  These calls are out of control for a game of this magnitude.  These BS calls have no place in the Super Bowl.  You want to protect quarterbacks, kickers and defenseless players proving points during the regular season?  Fine, great, I love it.  In the Super Bowl, let these guys play it out unless there is something fragrant, for the love of all that is holy!

9:01:  Arizona keeps the deficit reasonable with a great red zone stand, forcing Pittsburgh into a field goal after a "1st and goal" stiuation.  They may just not be out of this yet.

9:30:  From the 1 yard line, Larry Fitzgerald caps off a fantastic drive with a vintage Randy Moss-esque jump-to-the-moon catches.  And, after I wrote down the words "vintage Randy Moss," John Madden explains how no one in the history of the game was able to jump up and get the ball at the highest point quite like Larry Fitzgerald.  How long is the attention span of a typical football analyst, anyway?  Does it actually last a full two seasons?  Or do they clear everything at the conclusion of every draft?  The guy who is going to the hall of fame because of catches like that is still playing at a high level on a playoff caliber team with the best quarterback in football!  This game is making me "scream type" a whole lot.  I need to chill.

9:43:  Arizona finally catches a huge break of their own on a Pittsburgh holding penalty.  Safety.  

9:49:  Kurt Warner, drunk on his own power, hits Larry Fitzgerald on a slant-and-go that splits the safeties in cover-2, and the play was over as soon as he turned up field.  Seeming to gain five yards for every ten he was chased, Fitzgerald burnt the grass all the way to a touchdown.  The Arizona Cardinals are poised to win the Super Bowl if the defense can come up with one more stop.

9:55:  So much for that thought.  Pittsburgh, trying desperately to get into field goal range, manage to escape every inescapable situation for 1st downs and substantial gains.  Roethlisberger had another patented "back from the dead" escapes to hit Santonio Holmes, inexplicably open on the right side of the field, who runs all the way down to the Arizona 10.  Now instead of tying this game, the Steelers have every right to waste some clock and get in the end zone.

9:57:  Santonio Holmes, open in the back of the end zone, is overthrown by 10 yards for a missed touchdown.  Then, on the very next play, Ben Roethlisberger overthrows him by almost the same distance, except this time Santonio Holmes makes what may end up being the greatest catch in Super Bowl history.  Laying out to make his body a good four inches longer than it normally is, Santonio toed the grass while controlling the ball perfectly all the way to the ground.  Unbelievable.  I've never seen anything like this.  Pittsburgh takes a 27-23 lead.

10:08:  Arizona now must move 77  yards in about 6 or 7 plays.  That seems like too tall a task for even this team, with two receivers completely capable of drawing 50-yard interference penalties, and one able to jump eight feet to grab balls that haven't yet reached their highest point.  

10:09:  After a failed attempt or two, Kurt Warner takes too long to heave a ball downfield he didn't even have to aim, and loses a fumble to one of all 3 1/2 pass rushers.  Losing a ball on a strip sack against a "Prevent" pass rush?  That's just awful.

Final Score:  Pittsburgh 27, Arizona 23

Okay, Santonio Holmes should definitely be the MVP here, with 9 catches for 131 yards and an incredible, game-winning touchdown.  However, James Harrison scores the trophy until that final drive, or maybe it was after he drew an inexcusable Unnecessary Roughness penalty for repeatedly kidney-punching an Arizona offensive lineman into oblivion.  Unfortunately for me and my pick for MVP, the voters tend to look not-so-kindly on players that go UFC in front of 100 million people for no apparent reason.  Thanks a lot, James.

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers, winners now of more Super Bowls than any other team in history.  And, they are now in a solid second place behind the Patriots for "Team of the Decade," passing the Colts.  With basically one more season to go, they could just about supplant the Pats for this title if they repeat.  Damnit, Brady, where are you!

A note on the site:  Everyone should be able to contribute in the "My Madden" blogs.  So, if you feel like rambling about your Madden season to someone who may just listen, rant away.  

February 1st, 2009

Here are a few small points about the biggest sporting event of the year, to precede the running diary I will keep of the game.  Five points, plus a prediction.  Short and sweet, just like my girlfriend.

1.  James Harrison, the AP Defensive Player of the Year, will be in charge of wreaking havoc in the Arizona backfield.  He will do this, and he will do it well.  Even if Arizona wins, Warner will be seeing black and gold coming at him at Bullet Train speeds in his dreams for weeks.  I can't imagine either quarterback could do enough (Kurt Warner against the best defense he'll see all year; Ben Roethlisberger, with his lack of  "get on my shoulders, boys!" talent) doing enough to get the MVP, so Harrison will be a serious candidate.

2.  Larry Fitzgerald will not have the monster gave people generally believe he is going to have.  Pittsburgh didn't become the best defense in the NFL this season by lettingthe biggest stars on the opposing teams run wild.  Pittsburgh will roll zones in his direction all day with Troy Polamalu spying on him every snap (when he's not sacking Kurt Warner) they drop back to pass.  If I'm a Pittsburgh fan, the guy I'm worried about is the stronger, faster, meaner Anquan Boldin, whom most prognosticators are writing off because of his recent injury.  In addition to LJ's recent phenomenal run of playoff games.  However, Boldin will be at full strength tomorrow, and if he gets ignored at all, he'll destroy that secondary like George W. Bush would to an oil company or the United States economy.

3.  While doing my research for this article (meaning pitting them both into a game of Madden '09 for the Wii and watching the CPU play it out), I realized that the Cards just may have a slight advantage in an under-appreciated part of the game, special teams.  With respect and gratitude (Josh Reed was on my fantasy team and helped me win another championship) to the Pittsburgh kicker, Arizona's Neil Rackers, J.J. Arrington and Steve Breaston are superstars in their respective special teams roles.  I would not be surprised if this becomes Arizona's best chance to even the playing field with a superior team.

However, Pittsburgh won the matchup in which Roethlisberger was hurt in the first quarter, and you know why?  Even Madden '09 knew how good Pitt's defense would be this year.  Maybe they lack the shut-down corners needed to shut down a Boldin or Fitzgerald, but they have the coaching to scheme for them, and a fearsome front seven that can take even a seasoned veteran quarterback completely out of his comfort zone.  And, if we were reminded of anything during the Giants-Patriots Super Bowl from last year (Except that coaches should be flagged for running 20 yards onto the field trying to call a time out... Yes, I'm still bitter.), it's that defense wins championships.  No matter how hot and sexy an offense gets closer to the Super Bowl, they can always be shut down at any time by a great defense.  Always.

4.  As much as I (as well as most of the rest of the country outside of Pittsburgh, PA, am rooting for Arizona to win their first Super Bowl with some flashy touchdowns and a 14 catch, 212 yard, 3 touchdown performance from Larry Fitzgerald, I just can't see it.  I think Warner has enough in him to make this game close enough to make the commercials take a back seat to the game even to the most casual of fans, but not enough to overcome a ferocious defense, that feeds off of strip sacks and interceptions, for 60 minutes.

Sorry to all the die-hard Arizona fans, but the dozen or so of you should be prepared for a letdown. 

MVP:  James Harrison (6 tackles, 4 sacks, 1 forced fumble, 1 fumbled recovery)

I started dating my girlfriend January 20th, 2002 at approximately 1:37a.m.  Approximately.  To put this in perspective, I've made a short list of the things that have gone on in the world of sports, the world of Bobby Price, and the world in general in that time... In no particular chronological order, here we go...

• The Patriots won their first Super Bowl as two-touchdown underdogs to the St. Louis "fastest show on turf" Rams.
• Chris (Masure, who will be simply referred to as Chris for the purposes of this article) dated AK, followed by our foursome road trip to Hershey Park, leading to our unanimous boycott of Captain Morgan and Rolling Rock products from then until eternity.
• Two people had the cops called on them in that same city for lewd and lascivious behavior in a public pool in that same city, but I'm forbidden to say who.
• Chris and AK broke up.
• Aaron Boone added his to the list of names in the Red Sox Hall of Shame.  Joining Bucky Dent, Bill Buckner, and Grady Little (From that same game).
• The Patriots won their second Super Bowl.
• The Red Sox pull off the greatest comeback in the long history of organized sport, besting the Yankees in 7 games in the ALCS, followed by a four-game sweep of the Cardinals to win their first World Series in 86 years.  I have to say, one of the more satisfying moments of this win was the hoards of fans who stayed at Yankee Stadium to chant "Who's your Daddy" during the post-game shows.  Revenge, is their anything sweeter?
• The Patriots won their third Super Bowl, 2nd straight and 3rd in four years, becoming the unofficial dynasty of the "otts."  Yeah, I decided that it'll go 80's, 90's, otts, teens, 20s.  Any complaints?  They're almost over anyway, so get over it.
• Michele McKinnon and Eric Byrd started dating.
• Ben Roethlisberger became the youngest quarterback to win a Super Bowl, breaking Tom Brady's record from just a few years before.
• Chris started dating Sarah Cote.
• Kim Sullivan started dating Ben McGrath.
• My cousin Katie Hendricks started dating Rob Hill.
• My cousin Mandy DiMatteo and her husband Frank got married, and had their first son Jack and new daughter Natalie.
• Kevin McHale gifted his former franchise one more time with Kevin Garnett, without taking Rajon Rondo with the plethora of players he received in return. Preceeding this was the trade for Ray Allen, creating the "New Big Three."  Less than one year later, Boston hung its 17th championship banner.
• Leah and I went to Disney World.   Twice.
• "The Old Man of the Mountain" in New Hampshire collapsed and crumbled into Profile Lake after standing for thousands of years.
• The United States elected a black president for the first time in its history.
• Pluto was downgraded from a planet to some kind of giant rock rotating around the sun.
• "Shock and Awe" allowed us to invade Iraq for no reason, but damn did we enjoy watching those bombs drop on that country which was harboring neither weapons of mass destruction nor terrorists.  Well, that is, until we invited them in to fight with our soldiers on their side of the world.
• A United States space shuttle exploded upon reentry over Texas, killing all 7 astronauts aboard.
• George W. Bush wins his reelection bid because the democratic party couldn't come up with any better candidates than John "Too Liberal for Massachusetts" Kerry and Howard "Screamin' Demon" Dean.
• An earthquake in the Indian Ocean measuring an unfathomable 9.3 on the Richter scale sends a lethal tsunami through Sri Lanka to Indonesia killing 290,000 people.  But, don't worry, supermodel Petra Nemcova survived, by hanging naked to a tree for hours.  If that turns you on, you're sick.  And I'm apparently deathly ill.  United States sends some cash and a crate of assorted Lil' Debbie's snack cakes to aid the suffering survivors.
• W. Mark Felt reveals himself to be the Watergate informant known as "Deepthroat."
• Lance Armstrong wins his record 7th straight Tour de France, lifting a middle finger to the French so high it temporarily dwarfed the Eiffel Tower.
• Hurricane Katrina breaks the levees in New Orleans, floods the city and kills 1,300 people, leaving thousands more homeless, sick and injured.  George W. Bush goes fishing.
• Major League Baseball releases the Mitchell Report, naming dozens of players tied to steroids including most notably Roger Clemens.
• Michele and Eric got engaged.
• Chris and Sarah got engaged.
• Craig Leger and Ashley Murphy started dating.
• Ashley got pregnant.
• Craig and Ashley had a beautiful daughter, Cassidy.
• Craig and Ashley got engaged at some point during all of that, then get married, with me at Craig's side as a groomsman.
• Katie and Rob got married.
• Michael Phelps breaks Mark Spitz's olympic record of 7 gold medals in one olympiad, with his 8th gold in the games at Beijing.
• Chris Mahoney dated Kim Sullivan for approximately 1 1/2 years, then a couple of other random girls we disapproved of.
• Mahoney then started dating Elyse, who we very much approve of.
• Pat and Abbey have been dating for the majority of our relationship.
• Leah has had a black Ford Escort from the late 1980's, a '94 Oldsmobile and an '88 Buick LeSabre.
• I've had a 1990 Mercury Tempo, a 2000 Mazda 626 in jet black which I loved, which got T-Boned and totalled on the way to the DMV to renew my license on my 21st birthday.  I then bought a 2001 White Mazda 626 which was not as nice as the previous one despite being a year newer, but still had the oscillating A/C vents.  And, let's face it, that's what's really important.
• American Idol began its 8-year (and counting) run as the ratings giant of prime time television.
• George Carlin, Anna Nicole Smith, Bernie Mac, Heath Leger, Paul Newman, Estelle Getty, Jett Travolta, Charlton Heston, Saddam Hussein, Gerald Ford, James Brown, Rick James, Kirby Puckett, Curt Gowdy, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Reggie White, ODB, Yasser Arafat, Christopher Reeve, Rodney Dangerfield, Johnny Ramone, Julia Child, John Ritter, Johnny Cash, Rosa Parks, Tim Russert, Peter Jennings, Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes, Warren Spahn, Otto Graham and Mr. Rogers all had their incredible lives come to an end.
• Chris's house in Amherst was raided, resulting in his arrest and various drug charges.
• "Newlyweds" stars Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson got married, stayed married for four successful seasons, then divorced so she could date Dallas Cowboy goat... er... quarterback... Tony Romo.
• Abbey graduated from middle school, high school, and went to Clark University.
• Danny graduated from high school, got an associate's degree, and transferred to Framingham State.
• Leah and I both graduated college, although I enjoyed one more year to do it.
• Holly left Hugh Hefner after a five-year relationship for magician Criss Angel.
• Tom Cruise kidnapped Katie Holmes, started dating her, went as crazy as post-brain injury Gary Busey, married her, and had a baby named Soupy Sales or something like that.
• But, perhaps nothing affected me more than the life and loss of Glenna Kohl.

Approximately three years ago, Glenna was diagnosed with stage IV melanoma.  For those who aren't (luckily) familiar with the disease and its progressions, this prognosis is one of the very bad ones.  

She fought Braveheart-blue-and-white-facepaint-crazy, and unimaginably bravely against her illness, but in the end we lost our good friend on November 20th, 2008.

The truth is everything has changed since that day.  Everyone who was lucky enough to have Glenna touch their lives in one way or another certainly never forgot her.  Our high school class was very unique.  Students floated in and out of cliques at a maturity level more advanced than could possibly be expected from teenagers.  A select few students made this possible.  Some, like Glenna, transcended cliques and stereotypes, and provided every person she came across with the same respect and kindness she provided her dearest friends.

People like this don't come into our lives often, so I personally believe it's important to not simply treasure the times spent with them, but remember them long after they've gone, and the one-in-a-million spirit they carried with them.  

I'm not a religious person, and could barely be called spiritual, but sometimes it seems as though God wants these incredibly rare individuals to hang out with, wherever it is that he lives.  Perhaps my uncle Steve was taken for comedic relief and vicious sports commentary, and Glenna was taken to literally brighten the day of whomever she's around.  That seemed to be her specialty.

I remember visiting my girlfriend at Salve Regina and frequently running into Glenna, briefly catching up, and somehow feeling better about myself after parting ways.  Maybe some people do, but I certainly haven't found many people who have an ability to turn everything they touch just a little bit more brilliant than it was when he or she found it.  Glenna did just that.

When re-growing her hair after a round of radiation treatment, because of a protective brace she had worn, it grew back at first as a mohawk.  Glenna dyed it, and named it the G-Hawk.

When visiting Leah once at Salve Regina, I had a brief conversation with her about how I was doing badly in school because of a number of things, not the least of which were frequent visits to Newport to be with my girlfriend.  She explained to me that this was okay, because college was not just about learning but making lasting friendships, and in my case relationships.  She did however, make me promise to do a couple of hours worth of real schoolwork when I got back to Fitchburg.  The strangest part?  I felt so good talking to her that I felt guilty enough to heed her advice.  To this day, they may be the only two consecutive hours I spent studying in my five years at college.  I suppose I should talked to her every weekend.  I may just have finished college with a degree that means something. 

I wasn't as close to Glenna as the lucky crew than hung with her the most, but I was fortunate enough to realize and embrace what a transcendent, caring, hysterically funny and beautiful person she was.  

Thank you, Glenna, for sharing some of yourself with me.

For my sports blog fans, I will be getting back to work now.  I have my site set up, I have many things to get out there, and I have scheduled hours to work now!  So don't worry, it won't be long between posts anymore.

By the way, very soon everyone should be "moderators" on the "My Madden" group. So, everyone who loves the Madden games should go on and rant as much as possible, believe me, it's a ton of fun.  

Super Bowl preview coming this weekend!

Reporting live from Cape Cod, Massachusetts, I'm Bobby Price.

 First and foremost, let's wrap up the picks context from this season.  I know many of you are dying to hear the outcome, so I won't tiptoe around the subject for long.  Going into week 15, the two of us were in a dead heat at 89-96 apiece.  Even more unbelievably, after week 16, in which we both went 8-8, we were deadlocked at 97-104 all.  This was truly going to be a matchup for the holy halls of ESPN Classic.  Then, there came week 17.

Week 17 is hard to gauge against spreads for the same reason I refuse to hold fantasy league championships on the last week of the season.  Some players get rested for the playoffs, while other teams throw in their last epic tank-jobs in order to solidify their places in the top 10 of the draft order.  

While Leah Vegas-Killer kept to her proven method of choosing teams she knew were in first place and had decent players (her general plan, in its most simple sense, was that if she knew about the team, they had to be good), my analysis finally paid dividends.  While she picked teams such as Tennessee (1st place) and Minnesota (she knew I bought my best friend Chris an Adrian Peterson jersey, which means they must have a great player, and more importantly, a player she's heard of), I selected Indianapolis because I knew they had better second-stringers than the Titans, and so on.  In a meaningless game to both teams, the Colts' JV squad stole the lunch money from the Titans and I gained one game on her, and so on and so forth.

So, on the first week my over-analyzing actually paid off, I went a season-best 11-4 in week 17 to bring myself back to exactly .500 (112-112).  LVK went a very respectable 9-6, but ultimately it wasn't enough.  I was able to retain my crown, and more importantly my dignity, with her final score ending up at 112-118.

So that's that.  I apologize for missing the playoff picks, but don't worry, my Carolina-Indianapolis Super Bowl looks like it's probably not going to happen anyway, with both teams being embarrassingly booted from post-season play by teams they never should have lost to.

I've told a few people that once this first post is out of the way, I'll get on a roll again, and I'm sticking to that promise.  I have hours set aside some hours to write in the coming weeks, and that's that.  Thanks for stopping by, and I'll see you soon (I swear!). 

 Welcome, everyone, to the new, improved and semi-fully-functioning Sportsomedy.com!  In addition to reading my fine work, you are now able to register for the site, log in, leave comments and join groups.  Now, we're just getting started so we'll be expanding every day.  So poke around, and see what's new, and check in with us daily to see all the new features!  Thanks for coming by, and don't forget to register today, before all the good usernames are taken!

-Bobby

This group will serve as a place for users to ramble about their Madden experiences.

Coming later today/tomorrow: The Best Player in the NFL Final Edition!!

(Home team in caps)

New Orleans (+3) over Chicago (Push)

ATLANTA (-3) over Tampa Bay

Washington (-7) over CINCINNATI

INDIANAPOLIS (-17) over Detroit

San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY

Seattle (E) over ST. LOUIS

MIAMI (-6 1/2) over San Francisco

Buffalo (+7) over NEW YORK JETS

Green Bay (-2 1/2) over JACKSONVILLE

Tennessee (-3) over HOUSTON

ARIZONA (E) over Minnesota

New England (E) over OAKLAND

CAROLINA (-7 1/2) over Denver

Pittsburgh (+2) over BALTIMORE

DALLAS (-3) over New York Giants

PHILADELPHIA (-14) over Cleveland

Last Week:

Me: 9-7 LVK: 5-11

Season:

Me: 89-96 LVK: 89-96

This is the first test post on Sportsomedy.com.